Sunday, October 26, 2014

"I killed you too quickly last time... "

Do you know this quote?  It's from one of my all-time favorite movies, The Princess Bride.  Prince Humperdinck says to Westley, The Man In Black, "I killed you too quickly last time; a mistake I do not mean to duplicate."

That quote is running through my head constantly as I have learned I must endure one more surgery soon to repair the "too quickly" sewing up job they had to do of my last surgery due to my respiratory failure.

Why the movie... because this AWESOME book was just released about the behind-the-scenes making of the film, and I got a hard copy of it for my birthday.  It was the most delightful and cheering thing I've read in so long. Well-written, endearing, and full of fabulous tales and secrets and surprises about the making of the movie.

If you order this through Amazon, please go through Sarah's blog as a favor to me. Because of her, I had so much prayer support this past summer (and still do), you could just feel the energy in  the hospital room.

So.... I have the surgery consult tomorrow. My spirit is wounded and my flesh is weak. I am still greedy  for your prayers. Selfish in  just wanting to get back to being a mama who can be just a simple, homemaking mama. Trying to avoid being terrified, and anxious, and gripey about this STILL not being all behind me... And still trying to come to terms with LIFETIME infusions every four weeks as well as serious GI issues. But I have been doing my research and I am far better off than  many with my issues.  Your prayers are working and have worked.

So... let's get upbeat again. I drove again for the first time today and husband said I did fine.

I lost my hair.  Sound upbeat? It's not, really. I had just grown it out for FOUR years (since I lost it last time due to chemo), and was two inches from my goal length. So vain. Such vanity and emptiness.  It was not too difficult to come to terms with the fact it was all coming out. But... my husband bought me, after much consideration on what we were going to do, a "new do" for my birthday--'cause we still don't know yet if it's going to ever grow back.  It's the same length and color as what I had before, but with more layers and lighter highlights on top.  Whatcha think?

Yes, I have an iPad now that a friend gave me as a gift while I was in the hospital, but NO, I still don't have the energy to learn how to take reverse image selfies.  This is like my second attempt ever at a selfie, the last being  my pregnant one a coupla posts ago. Do you  know how hard this is to do in  a mirror with a regular camera?  Sheesh! 

Still upbeat:  Thank you all for the continued prayers. They are needed much and immensely.  My husband still does not have a new permanent job (he was supposed to start a new job in FL the day after I fell ill). Praying for an offer soon!

I'll post an update after surgery. Pray for peace and patience, and strength of spirit. I'm so impatient to get my "littles" (as well as my bigger ones) back on track and get our  whole family  back into a season of peace and rest and routine. 

More happy:  Here's my curly-top, swirly-top, Millie Jewel. She is now six months old and pretty darn good at sitting, and trying  her darnedest to crawl.  I need to call her "Millie Drool."  I never used bibs at all with my previous six children, but this girl soaks up to 8 a day. I ordered her a "genuine Baltic Amber" necklace that is supposed to help.  Well, the internet reviews go like this: 85% of the people rave and swear by it, and 15% of the people say it's absolute baloney. No in-betweens. Funny thing is, this percentage of reviews didn't change much whether there were reviews on the product proving it was "fake" (meltable plastic beads instead of real amber) or real, or a mixture of both (amber and plastic together).  Go figure.  Worth  a shot though, but made sure I ordered the real deal. Any opinions on this?

Look at that adorable curl on the top of her  head! I just LOVE it!

Umai Authentic LEMON Baltic Amber Teething Necklace
Here's her new Umai Authentic Baltic Amber teething necklace.  Again, if you want to buy one after reading the reviews and intend to buy on  Amazon, please go to Amazon through  Sarah's Blog.
I'll let you know if it works.

More happy:  I joined The Honest Company.  They have a bundle and autoship program for the CUTEST diapers on the planet (with  terrific wipes) made with eco-friendly, super baby-safe, non-harmful, and biodegradable materials.  Less than $20 a week. Every bit as good as Pampers. Arrive at my doorstep exactly  when I command them to through  a very easy-to-use website, and I can change my shipment date at any time. I haven't had one leak and the prints make me SOOOO happy.  So glad this company came around in time for my last little one.

Aren't these the cutest darn things? I was so tired, after 20 years, of seeing  Big Bird, Barney, Elmo, Blues Clues, and/or monkeys on my baby's nether-end.  And they have boy patterns, too. And many more than this... and they keep adding new designs all the time.

If you're interested in  joining, use this link, because I'll get a $20 friend credit. Did I mention, you can get  a sample pack for "free" ($5.95 shipping) to  try for yourself? That's how I was double-convinced.  You can get lots of different sample packs. They carry all sorts of  eco-friendly  products.

In the meantime... I'm returning all your prayers for me. But keep 'em coming, PUHLEEZ!  I'm desperate.  Ingesting the Word as much as possible right now to strengthen my spirit and praying for God's complete healing.

May God's blessing  be upon  you all, and if you have requested any specific prayers from me, you are getting them!  The rest of you readers, get them anyway. Thank you for all the  encouragement and prayer support, and even other support (gifts in the mail and donations on the website). I'm eternally grateful to you all.



  1. Hi camilla, Found your blog via Sarah's. I've been following your story. Yesterday at church we talked about having gratitude in the midst of trials. We talked about how gratitude can be more than a list of THINGS we are grateful for. It can be an attitude. To me, that seems so much more difficult, especially if one is going through a difficult trial. Yet, you seem to be able to do this! Many prayers for you from this part of California.

    1. Thank you, Natalie, for your comment and prayers, and reminder to have the attitude of gratitude. I appreciate your encouragement. And... The doctor said today I DO NOT need surgery any time soon at all, if ever. How's that for answered prayers? So I will post that update soon. God bless you and be with you.